2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010 at 8:24PM Something that has struck me about the beginning of 2010 is how poorly I have been doing and how well I think this local church is doing.
I hope that's not a direct correlation.
I feel like, lately, my faith has truly been sustained by my brothers and sisters. In the last several days, I have been struck by how much I NEED these people.
I've also been struck by corporate prayer.
Last week, freaks gathered at our house to pray together. No agenda. Just an intentional time to pray. This was great, but I happened to have a crappy day that day. Really crappy. And not crappy in the sense that bad things happened that day, but crappy in the sense that I was not doing well at all and had nothing to point to that day to explain it.
I was overwhelmed by anxiety. It was suffocating. I am completing a dissertation and I am in a precarious situation with my job, and I know those are directly connected to my anxiety. But some days, it just hits me even though nothing has changed from the day before or the day after. That was one of those days.
So people came over, and we had about 11 people in the room. I did not want to ask for prayer. I just didn't. But then a brother, in his prayer, simply acknowledged that there was a real somberness in the room. I was so somber that I did not realize that others also had heavy hearts! I began to pray out loud, confessing my anxiety and calling out to God. Then I began to sob, almost uncontrollably. Tears were streaming and there was no stopping them.
Where did all this come from, I asked myself. Well, it turns out it was there the whole time, deep inside, and I needed help to bring it out.
Others prayed. Some for each other. Some sharing their own anxiety. I felt release. I felt free. I felt loved. These precious saints did for me what I could not do myself. And I have been needing that kind of help daily lately.
Then, this week, we got together at a brother and sister's house for the express purpose of praying for them. This brother was having an interview the following day for a job that he was really wanting and had been pursuing for a long time. The Lord had really used the process to love them and refine them, and it was all about to come to a head.
The living room was just full of people. Completely full. I looked around the room thinking, all of us are here for just this person? We have nothing to gain or lose from what happens to this person.
Except we do. Because he and his wife are family. And what happens to them happens to us. We did not know what God would do, but we knew He would be faithful. And I think many of us felt like God would provide this job, though we didn't say it.
The next day, this brother called me to tell me he got the job. I was thrilled.
But not just for him.
I needed to see God be faithful to him, for I am needing God to be faithful to me. I needed to be a part of this brother's life, for I need this brother to be a part of mine.
It's interesting to watch someone go through an experience with God and a job while you are going through one as well. It's amazing to watch God be faithful, knowing that He will be for me as well. And it's humbling to watch God give this brother the job, knowing that God may have the opposite in store for me.
Same God. Same family. Same situation. Same faithfulness. But possibly different outcomes?
So far in 2010, I am witnessing how this amazing God takes people and molds them - not just individually, but together. I sit with my wife and share with her my pain. I sit across the table (or phone) from a brother falling to pieces and asking him to sow me back together. I listen to a sister pray for me and I feel so broken and so healed at the same time.
And through all this, I am occasionally reminded that what I really want is to know God and to know Him with others.
Therefore, God has already come through for me.
Reader Comments (3)
Oh, this is such a great post, Rishi. There's so much truth here. We're glad to be in it with you guys.
I agree with Amy! Great post! Good TRUTH! We love you and Amanda! And we look forward to seeing how the Lord will show Himself faithful to you (us). -maria
One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.
temple = freaks within whom God dwells