I've found the answer!

Among my fellow freaks, there has been a lot of talk about kids and faith. More specifically, how do we raise our kids to know Jesus Christ and live by His life, especially within the context of doing churchlife outside of the institutional church and in homes?

Well, I've got the answer.

Okay, that's admittedly too bold and presumptuous. I really have no idea (click here for proof that I have no idea).

I've been reading this book called Souls in Transition by Christian Smith. It is a follow-up to Soul Searching.

Both books are based on the National Study of Youth and Religion (NSYR, for short). This is the largest study of youth and religion ever done in America.

Soul Searching was the first book and talked about the religious lives of 13-17 year olds. More than 3,000 teenagers were surveyed by phone, followed by 267 personal interviews in 45 states.

Souls in Transition follows the same group 5 years later, as they are entering college (18-23 year olds). Some of the findings are what you might predict. Others are not. But in either case, Christian Smith has actually provided some EVIDENCE to back up or contest people's guesses about where our youth are today in relation to God and religion.

In my church, there have been two broad, general patterns of thought regarding the spiritual development of our children. The first pattern is that we need to teach our children explicitly and include them in adult meetings as early as possible. The second pattern (the one I align with and struggle with) is that we do not need to explicitly direct the spiritual development of our kids because they are going to learn from the implicit ways they see us loving God and each other in community (in other words, it will be caught, not taught).

Well, it turns out I was right!

(okay, the other pattern of thought is right also.)

Here's where I was right (according to Christian Smith's study and findings, of course):

One of the most significant predictors of the faith of college students is the number and kind of adult influences in their lives. In other words, this notion that teenagers reject the faith of the adults around them is (generally speaking) false. Do you know what this means? Surrounding our kids with adults who love Jesus is going to (according to the general trend) cause them to love Jesus. Regardless of direct teaching. This is great news!

But, I have also reluctantly seen how the desire to teach the kids explicitly about living by the life of Jesus is really beneficial for all involved. Smith says,

To the contrary, where youth end up religiously as emerging adults is highly governed by the nature of their religious upbringings, commitments, and experiences in earlier years.

In other words, what we teach matters. And what kids find boring (not that it has to be) can have substantial positive impact on their development.

Do you want to know the five greatest predictors of strong faith for college students? Here they are (remember, these are things that occur in them as young teenagers that predict where they will be as college students):

1. Personal prayer
2. Parental religious commitment
3. Importance of faith
4. Religious doubts
5. Personal religious experiences

Yes, the fourth is doubt. Letting your kids doubt and struggle helps them grow in their faith as college students. In other words, letting them doubt when they are still under your care is much better than forcing them to doubt after they have been released from your household.

And the fifth, personal religious experiences, basically refers to this question: can your kids identify times where they believe God has actually worked in their lives?

Here's the point. Amanda, my wife, has made an observation I am far too ready to constantly ignore. She's said, "I have never encountered a church that meets in homes that has raised a second generation of people who love the Lord and who also meet in homes."

It's one of the few things Amanda says to which I don't have a response! I think part of the explanation for Amanda's observation is due to the fact that churchlife outside of the institution does not usually last very long. And I hope this is also due to the fact that there are countless churches meeting together in homes that we just do not know about.

But either way, if Christian Smith is uncovering a bit of truth here, it gives me a little much-needed peace that we paradoxically do not know what in the world we are doing yet are also doing all the right things.

Comments

[Jacob]

So it's to be taught AND caught? I agree with this completely. To sacrifice either one is to potentially harm your child (no teaching may make them unstable, no modeling may make them superficial - both can lead to death).

But while the above is true we must remember two things:
a. Salvation belongs to our God - He is the one who does the saving out of His grace
b. God can (and, praise Him, does) save children despite their upbringing

So parent with great intentions (teaching AND modeling), but desperately rely on the Lord to do His work.

[amy]

Whew! I'm so glad you've got this all figured out, Rishi. ;)

I agree with Jacob. Bring the Lord to the children from all sides, and pray he will woo their hearts.

[Living with Freaks]

Excellent remarks, Jacob and Amy. I hope I'm an example of what God can do despite upbringing (I was raised Hindu).

We cannot leave God out of this! More specifically, we cannot fully understand why or how he deals with individuals, including the measure of faith He gives each one.

I like the word, "woo." God is seeking a love relationship, not a business partnership.